


the devil’s after both of us

by lunarblazes



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Been a while, Blood Vine Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, ahahaa hey everyone, egg meeting angst, maybe. as a treat, might add another chapter to this if i feel like it, no comfort... yet, warning for mild body horror and blood mention, we out here, with the egg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29141724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarblazes/pseuds/lunarblazes
Summary: Sam and Puffy have been called for a meeting to see their friends, Bad and Ant. Something feels... wrong.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Sam | Awesamdude &; Cara | CaptainPuffy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	the devil’s after both of us

**Author's Note:**

> “there’s a fire in my brain and i’m burning up  
> oh my, oh my  
> keep runnin’ for the sink but the well is dry  
> oh my, oh my  
> every word i say is kindling  
> but the smoke clears when you’re around  
> won’t you stay with me, my darling?  
> when this house don’t feel like home...”  
> -  
> title and note from curses by the crane wives

Sam leaned back, huffing out a breath into the cool air flooding into the obsidian room. Bad’s usually kind and genuine smile was slightly crooked, something razor-sharp and jagged shattered behind it, and Ant’s eyes were drilling through him. It felt like he could read all of Sam’s secrets, as if nothing he held close would be his own anymore.

He hated it.

Puffy’s hand was going white knuckled from the tense grip she held on her axe. Her eyes didn’t move from Bad’s face, though the demon was still staring right at Sam. The room was tense, and Sam felt like he was staring down the barrel of a gun with a spark lit and ready to blow. Walking the edge of a sword like a tightrope. Finally, Puffy’s eyes flicked to him, and the softened concern and fear in her gaze made him take a deep breath.

“Bad, I’ve said this so many times. There are  _ other ways  _ to get the Badlands to prosper. So many others, ones that do not involve kidnapping TommyInnit and using an alien egg to take over the server,” he said, putting as much force behind the words as he could muster. Bad just tilted his head to the side, his smile still pasted on tightly. “Tommy’s… been through enough, especially. Let him have his peace.”

“Yeah, Bad,” Puffy interjected, “he’s a  _ kid.  _ A kid who’s been through a lifetime of monstrosities. We don’t need more to add to the list.”

Bad’s smile snagged. Ant blinked and crossed his arms, staring at the floor as if he’d like it to collapse beneath him. Sam wished he was anywhere but here.

“Sam, you’re sure about this? Like, 100 percent against the egg?”

Sam nodded, jaw clenched. “Absolutely. That thing is  _ awful,  _ and we need to get rid of it before it hurts someone.”

For a moment, Sam thought Ant might skewer him on those claws from the look he was getting. But then it shifted, and Ant looked away, staring intently at Bad, who sighed and let his smile slip fully. “Yeah, I… I guess you’re right, Sam. It wouldn’t be fair for us to manufacture a problem and then pretend to be heroes. I think the egg might be getting to me a little more than I thought it was,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

Sam grinned hesitantly, feeling half of a weight on his chest evaporate. Maybe they were  _ finally  _ getting somewhere! “ _ Now  _ you’re talking sense, Bad! Give this crazy plan up and let’s just go take the dumb egg down.”

“God, please! It’s almost to my house, now, Bad,” Puffy said, her grip on her axe finally loosening slightly.

What Sam didn’t see in his celebration was Ant shooting a look to Bad, who nodded quietly. Ant cleared his throat. “Hey, Sam— I lost my pickaxes a little while ago to the Doomsday withers. Do you think I could borrow yours?”

“Uhh… I don’t know about that, man,” Sam replied, the crushing weight looming over his torso again. He wanted to believe Ant, he really did, but it couldn’t hurt to be cautious until he could get them both bathed in prime water, right? “I kinda… need them to make my bank.”

“Please?”

“I… alright,” Sam relented, summoning the tools from his inventory and passing them over. “Remember to return them, okay?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep them nice and safe.”

An uncomfortable silence followed as Sam and Puffy edged out of the room, still slightly wary of the other two. Bad pointedly cleared his throat, and Ant clapped his paws together. “OH! Before I forget— can I also borrow your tridents, Sam? I made a, uh, a bet that I could out-trident Techno and I need multiple tridents to do that.”

Puffy spluttered in protest, swiftly standing to Sam’s left. “That is so suspicious, Ant! What?!”

Sam crossed his arms. “Yeah, Ant, that is  _ incredibly  _ sus, dude. Why—“

“Please, Sam? For our friendship?”

Sam glanced over, and for a moment he saw a glimpse of Ant’s bright blue eyes, pupils wide and excited. He really, really missed those eyes.

He caved. 

Ant turned away, taking the tridents from his hands as he ran a paw along the edge of the prongs. “Thank you, Sam! I’ll take good care of this for you. Keep it warm and all that.”

Sam smiled, still a little uneasy, and started edging for the door again. This time, Bad stopped him, a hand held out and a cry dropped from his lips. “Wait, Sam! Do you want a hug? As an apology for what we did?”

Sam very badly wanted that hug. It had been  _ ages  _ since he’d hugged Bad, almost since Manburg had fallen. Something in his gut told him not to go, but something much louder in his heart cried out for his friend. Bad did always give the best hugs, really; if anyone had a chance of convincing him to go for a hug after nearly plotting to kill someone, it was Bad. 

He stepped forward, climbing up onto the obsidian-and-nether-brick table in the center of the room, and held tight to Bad’s shoulders before pulling him in. The embrace was exactly as he’d remembered, soft and warm and cozy. “I missed you, Bad,” Sam whispered.

“Missed you too, Sam,” Bad responded. “This is for your own good.”

Sam tensed, but it wasn’t enough. Bad stood back and he heard a click from the floor, and then he was falling, and he was pretty sure Puffy was screaming as she lunged for him, and then his head hit solid obsidian and he whited out for a moment, head ringing fuzzily as he tried to put together what happened. 

Bad tricked him.

_ Bad TRICKED him. _

“BAD,” Sam yelled, clawing at the walls around him desperately. “LET ME OUT OF HERE!”

“Sorry there, Sam, but you need to be taught a lesson! Maybe some time with the egg will help you sort things out.”

“SAM! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO HIM, BAD? ANT? LET HIM OUT!” Puffy was screaming now, not daring to reach over the hole but desperate enough to cling to their last hope of friendship even as Sam was stuffed into a tiny cage above… no. 

His brain put together the pieces of what Bad was saying. No, no, no, no, no, NO! “BAD, WHAT? PUFFY, PUFFY— ANT— IT’S TOUCHING ME, IT’S TOUCHING ME, IT’S TOUCHING ME!”

“Soon, you’ll love the egg as much as we do! It really is wonderful when you get to know it, Sam.”

“GET HIM  _ OUT,”  _ Puffy roared. A glistening axe blade flashed over the opening to the hole, but then the opening closed entirely and Sam was left in the dark. Alone.

Vaguely, he could hear Puffy’s cries and the clinking of netherite on netherite. Bad and Ant were trying to  _ kill her _ .

Panic rose in his throat. No, no, no, no, no! NO! “NO, BAD, NO— I WILL NEVER! NEVER.”

The obsidian was flawlessly smooth, and  _ fuck, they’d taken his pickaxes.  _ He should know better than almost anyone else on the server that obsidian wasn’t just strong; it was  _ unbreakable  _ by hand. But that didn’t mean he had to just resign himself to this. The scratchings of a certain prisoner in his cell covered the walls, after all, every time Sam came to deliver the food and to check on the books he wrote.

His nails chipped immediately as he clawed away at the smooth rock, trying to detect anything hidden in the walls, trying to get  _ any  _ outside help. “PUFFY! PUFFY, PLEASE, GET ME OUT!”

A distant call of something like his name answered, but was followed by the sound of netherite meeting flesh and a scream of pain. Puffy was  _ dying,  _ and he was sure he was as well, and neither of them would ever see daylight again, and—

He’d broken three nails. 

Three nails when the egg wormed its way in.

<There you are. Quite the elusive one, aren’t you?>

“No… no, no— get out, get out of my head,” Sam muttered, clinging to the walls of his cell desperately. He shut his eyes tightly, willing the voice to go away.

<H—doi—th—?>

His head felt like it was about to explode from the pressure. The egg was at bay for now, but that dam would burst in  _ minutes  _ at most and he didn’t have that kind of time. Puffy was in danger, and he was in danger, and Bad and Ant had  _ betrayed them. _

“My head… my head is  _ pounding,  _ Puffy,” Sam called, pleading for anything. Puffy was closer than before, he could hear her cries. It felt nice to know she was at least trying, but there was no way she’d make it with Ant and Bad on her tail at all times. She needed to run.

<There you are again. Stubborn fool.>

Sam sunk to the floor, all attempts to leave forgotten as his fingers bled on the uncaring obsidian. “Please…” he whimpered, a last ditch effort to save himself.

The egg didn’t care. It wanted life. And whatever it wanted, it would get. 

The world faded around him. His breathing shallowed as the egg entered his mind again. It wasn’t an entirely unpleasant feeling, really, and what exactly did he have against this thing again…? It whispered sweetly to him, softly and kindly, with the air of a parent chastising their child. He must have done something wrong to have provoked that. He immediately felt sorry. Whatever he did wasn’t worth it.

The blood dripping into his lap poured across the egg’s surface beneath his kneeling legs. Wherever it touched, it sizzled, and little vines sprouted up, covered in small thorns and… something else. Vaguely, he was aware he was panicking, but his brain couldn’t

piece together why. He knew it had something to do with the egg… was it because he’d displeased it? 

The vines were circling his legs, the thorns puncturing skin and cementing themselves into his thick, scaly skin. They forced him down to his knees, and he didn’t try to move. It was speaking now, humming a sort of melody that promised him knowledge and safety and the lull of the ocean waves. The ocean felt familiar, like it was someone he knew, and in a rush he came to, remembering for a moment—  _ get me out get me out get me OUT GET ME OUT, PUFFY NEEDS HELP PUFFY HELP ME PUFFY HELP HELP HELP— _

Uncaring red vines dug deeper into his skin, pulling  _ something  _ out of him, and no, that’s mine, you can’t have it, no—

Sᔑᒲ’ᓭ ⍑ᒷᔑ∷ℸ ̣ ᓭꖎ𝙹∴ᒷ↸. Iℸ ̣ ᓭℸ ̣ 𝙹!¡!¡ᒷ↸.

ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ʖ⚍⨅⨅╎リ⊣ 𝙹⎓ ╎ℸ ̣ ᓭ ꖎ╎⎓ᒷ ∴ᔑᓭ ᔑꖎꖎ ⍑ᒷ リᒷᒷ↸ᒷ↸.

<!¡∷𝙹ᒲ╎ᓭᒷᓭ, !¡∷𝙹ᒲ╎ᓭᒷᓭ. Y𝙹⚍ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ↸ リ𝙹∴, ↸𝙹リ’ℸ ̣ ||𝙹⚍, ᓭᔑᒲ?>

ᓭᔑᒲ ⎓ᒷꖎℸ ̣ ⍑𝙹ꖎꖎ𝙹∴. Eᒲ!¡ℸ ̣ ╎ᒷ↸ 𝙹⚍ℸ ̣. A ᓭ𝙹⎓ℸ ̣ , ᓭ𝙹𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣ ᒲᒷꖎ𝙹↸|| ∷𝙹ᓭᒷ ᔑ∷𝙹⚍リ↸ ⍑╎ᒲ ᔑ⊣ᔑ╎リ, ᔑꖎꖎ ⍑╎リℸ ̣ ᓭ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ 𝙹ᓵᒷᔑリ ⎓𝙹∷⊣𝙹ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ᒷリ, ᔑリ↸ ╎ℸ ̣ ᒲᔑ↸ᒷ ⍑╎ᒲ ᓭꖎᒷᒷ!¡||. Sꖎᒷᒷ!¡|| ᒷリ𝙹⚍⊣⍑ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᓭ╎ᒲ!¡ꖎ|| ᓭℸ ̣ 𝙹!¡... B∷ᒷᔑℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣…

<ᔑ ᓭ!¡ᒷᓵ╎ᔑꖎ ᒷ ̇/!¡ᒷ∷╎ᒷリᓵᒷ ╎ᓭ ∷ᒷᑑ⚍╎∷ᒷ↸ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 !¡⚍リ╎ᓭ⍑ ||𝙹⚍ ⎓𝙹∷ ||𝙹⚍∷ ∷ᒷᓭ╎ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリᓵᒷ.>

“ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ... Iᓭ ∴∷𝙹リ⊣... S𝙹ᒲᒷℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣’ᓭ ∴∷𝙹リ⊣…”

<||𝙹⚍’∷ᒷ ᑑ⚍╎ℸ ̣ ᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ⊣ᒷリ╎⚍ᓭ, ᔑ∷ᒷリ’ℸ ̣ ||𝙹⚍? ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷリ ᔑᓭ !¡⚍リ╎ᓭ⍑ᒲᒷリℸ ̣ ⎓𝙹∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᒲ╎ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑꖌᒷ, ||𝙹⚍ ∴╎ꖎꖎ ꖎ𝙹ᓭᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ⎓╎∷ᓭℸ ̣. T⍑ᒷ ∴╎ꖎꖎ 𝙹⎓ ᒲᔑリ||. Y𝙹⚍ ⎓ᒷᒷꖎ ╎ℸ ̣ ᓭ !¡⚍ꖎᓭᒷ. Y𝙹⚍ ᔑ∷ᒷ ⍑𝙹ᒲᒷ.”

“⍑𝙹ᒲᒷ…”




Watching Sam fall into that hole killed something deep inside her chest. Something warm and bright puffed out like a candle flame on a birthday cake as Bad kicked him into the chasm and Ant watched, gripping tightly to the instruments that would have been his rescuers if he hadn’t  _ trusted. _

Puffy lunged, scrambling to grab Sam and catch his fall, but she wasn’t fast enough. (Was she  _ ever  _ fast enough…  _ good _ enough?)

Sam hit the dark obsidian floors with a muffled crack and she screamed. “SAM!”

Bad was saying something to Sam, maybe a taunt; Puffy was too shocked to care. The surprise paralyzed her, denial wanting to set in as she watched. Rage quickly took its place as she cried out, axe clutched comfortingly in her hands. She didn’t look into the chasm on the chance that Bad would push her in, too, and then she’d have no chance of stopping the spread. 

“SAM! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO HIM, BAD? ANT? LET HIM OUT,” she screamed, brandishing her axe. Bad frowned, tipping his head towards her. “LISTEN, IF YOU THINK—“

The prongs of a trident crashed against her chestplate, not piercing flesh but delivering enough pressure to knock her off balance and away from Bad. Puffy glanced up, seeing Ant holding a trident level to her chest, the air around him crackling with lightning as the rain outside poured. She saw the look he gave Bad, the way he stared, and the way Bad nodded flippantly, as if they were just going through a minor inconvenience. Not as if they’d just  _ thrown their friend into an obsidian CAGE. _

Puffy didn’t have time to give in to her rage. In close quarters like the meeting room, and with a trident like Sam’s, Ant would throw her into the pit too, or just kill her. She needed to get out, right now, before the moment was up and the trident flew at her again.

She needed to act like she couldn’t hear Sam crying out from below the ground, act like she couldn’t feel the phantom pulsing of the egg’s false warmth reaching into her head again, act like Sam could get out on his own.

So she did. 

Puffy nearly tripped on her way out as Ant threw the trident again. It hit the doorway, mostly, but the sound was enough to startle her just enough to lose her balance. Rain was pouring from the sky, and in an instant she realized that could be her escape if she could just get away—

Sam cried out again, more muffled as she ran, and she knew she couldn’t just go without him. Puffy wouldn’t fail a friend again. She turned, gripping her axe tightly as Ant stalked out of the meeting room, the air around him smelling of ozone. He threw his trident just as she lunged forward at him, blade turned out, and this time she wasn’t as lucky. The prongs caught a chink in her armor, digging into skin and flesh, but she couldn’t let it deter her attack. The netherite axe blade opened up a thin but deep red canyon on Ant’s bicep, and he backed off for a second with a hiss. Puffy panted, Ant summoning the trident back to his hand and out of her shoulder. The two circled each other, but Ant was careful not to let Puffy too close to the meeting room. She gritted her teeth, readying her axe in one hand and her trident in another. Hopefully Ant would think she was going for the escape chance in the rain and follow her, leaving the room undefended. She’d at least be able to try to block herself in and grab Sam with the extra time that afforded her, and then once they got into the rain Puffy would be able to carry them both to the holy land and they’d be safe—

She’d forgotten about Bad. The realization hit her in the form of a netherite blade to the back, a stabbing pain between her shoulder and spine armor. Puffy gasped, shocked, close enough to the meeting room to hear Sam’s pleas again, close enough to almost feel the damn egg’s pull like a magnet in her chest was drawing her towards it. If she stayed here, she’d die, and then they could trap her next to the egg while she stumbled her way back to consciousness and then the situation would have no hope. “Sam! Sam, Sam, Sam,” Puffy cried, the words almost a lament. Bad was coming back in for a final blow, she could feel his breath on her neck, and she needed to  _ go. _

Sam’s response only served to break her heart further as she lifted her trident to the rain and felt the enchantment throw her away from the fight. “My head is  _ pounding,  _ Puffy, please…”

She knew what it felt like. She’d gone willingly to it, she’d felt the pull and not known better and it had still not been kind to her. It had still picked her brain clean, still taken something out of her that she’d had to fight to recover. Maybe it hadn’t come back yet, even, maybe it was still trapped there with Sam. 

Sam… Sam had no chance. His resistance would tear him apart. The egg wanted him, clearly, but he hadn’t come willingly like Puffy had at first. He’d fought tooth and nail and claw to stay away from this and now she’d pulled him back into it with hopeful promises of friendship. She had to get him out, but Ant and Bad were patrolling the cell at all times and there was no way she could make it through without getting caught herself. Stealth was never her strong suit.

Ant was using his—  _ Sam’s — _ trident to catch up with her as she flew, and on top of that, it had stopped raining. In a panic, she aligned a jump into a nearby river and hit the water with a crash, cold bubbles assaulting her senses and working their way into her lungs. Desperately, she kicked her way to the surface, spitting water as she wound up her aching arm for another throw. The adrenaline was starting to crash and the stinging of her wounds was starting to turn to full-blown waves of red-hot pain. 

Get to the holy land, get to the holy land, it’s so close—

She hit the ground, managing to roll just right in order to avoid breaking her ankles, and jumped up, breaking into a full sprint. Ant’s trident hit her armor again, pushing her off balance, but she brushed it off and kept running.

Panting, she finally stepped across the border of the church. Ant stopped, skulking sullenly across the stone in the ground. He took out a bow and aimed a flame arrow, and dimly Puffy was aware that he was aiming for her. At the last possible second, she jumped away from the scalding arrow with a yelp, shocked that Ant would still aim for her on holy ground.

Bad came up behind Ant, who had nocked another arrow. “You’re sure about this, Puffy?”

“Bad, are you absolutely  _ insane, _ ” Puffy spat out, venom dancing on her tongue as her rage bubbled over. “Look at what you’ve just  _ done  _ to him!”

“He’ll be better off for it, Puffy,” Bad snarled in a very un-Bad-like way. “He’ll learn to love it. Like you once did.”

“It was poisoning my mind, Bad! And you two have let it in again, please, please, let me help you! It doesn’t have to be like this!”

Bad seemed to consider it, lowering his sword. “Really?”

Puffy wanted to believe him. But fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Ant’s flame arrow was still poised at her chest. “Get away, Badboyhalo. You too, Antfrost. Holy ground is not a place for either of you.”

Bad’s eyes sharpened, and she knew she’d made the right move. The two stalked away in frustration, seeming to realize that if they killed her on holy ground, the consequences would certainly outweigh the benefit. 

Puffy staggered into the church, washing her wounds in holy water. Being there made her feel just a little better— safe. Safe in a way that Sam was not.

She fell asleep leaning against the wall and clutching her sword, thinking about her lost friends and the betrayed engineer who kept resisting beyond hope.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> HEY I’M NOT DEAD! just took a longer break than i was expecting for that trip and had a hard time getting back into things. space au will hopefully be picking back up soon (the outline is so close to done!!) once i get out of my little rut! hope you enjoyed my puffy and sam brainrot it’s not going away anytime soon.
> 
> (translation for the galactic part of sam’s bit for anyone curious:
> 
> Sam’s heart slowed. It stopped.
> 
> the buzzing of its life was all he needed.
> 
> sam felt hollow. Emptied ouℸ ̣. A soft, soothing melody rose around him again, all hints of the ocean forgotten, and it made him sleepy. Sleepy enough to simply stop... Breathing…
> 
> “this... Is wrong... Something’s wrong…” 


End file.
